In Process Performance Day- "Expectations Change Everything"

Today I finally did a performance I have been braining about for a while.

In my life I have a lot of relationships. Some are awesome, some a good, and some are, well, difficult. I learned long ago however, that no matter how frustrating a relationship is, the only thing I can ever hope to change is myself and my own actions.

The thing that I always get hung up on is my own expectations about how an interaction should be or what certain relationships should look like. When I'm expecting something, and then it doesn't turn out that way, I am inevitably disappointed. 

I created this piece hoping for a ritual that would allow me to release some of those expectations, and come to a place of contentment and acceptance. 

I started by focusing on a specific relationship that I wanted to change my expectations of. I wrote down every bit of correspondence that myself and this person had. Then I sewed it into an outfit that I could wear. 

I chose to use words for this piece because it is the most visually tangible form of a relationship, and yet often the most misconstrued. I constantly find myself reading into emails or texts, even if someone isn't saying that thing to me at all. I often go back to written words as well, to try and understand where someone is coming from now, rather than just being present and fully communicating. These things I want to change.

For the performance I get into my bathtub, wearing my paper suit made of words, and then pour water into the tub. The paper gradually breaks up and falls away, bringing me back to the present and what is real. 

Performance images will come later!

What I'm listening to as I work today-